So fucking miserable.
How is it that things can go wrong one after another for more than 48 hours?

I never had such lousy days in my whole life.
So pissed off.
I tried to keep my cool & get on with it.
It's so sad.
I couldn't find a single thing to be optimistic about.
That's how bad it is.

WARNING!
Excessive bitching for today's post.
If you're uninterested, feel free to click the red 'X' on your screen.

First, aikido.
I couldn't grasp the techniques sensei demonstrated.
I need to learn things step-by-step.
Slow learner, bo bian what.
The times when i grasped the techniques, my partner would praise me.
The times when i don't, i'm left looking like a retard.
Well, that's still ok.
Until we began learning some rolling technique.
Get into some kneeling position and flip yourself 360 degrees.
When everyone finished doing it, i was still left at the start.
WTFFFFF!
Dammit demoralizing can!

When i reached home, i had no appetite.
Took 1 hr just to clear my dinner.
My dad talked to me for 1hr.
It was 12.30am before i finally started doing my REPORT, 2 TUTORIALS & MUG FOR POE.
WTF!
Good thing i studied 2 chapters of POE during my journey to & fro aikido.
& i didn't go my tuts. Simply don't understand chem now.

I love my sec 4 chem textbook.
I took down so many notes and extra out-of-syllabus stuff.
They helped in my report. <33

I guess i have low self-esteem.
Recently i began to become more out-going.
But it did nothing to help how i feel inside.
I feel like a wallflower.
The dull, ugly, ordinary sort.
The kind you wouldn't notice at all.
The kind that wouldn't matter if it died.
But that's me.
I'm not pretty, just ordinary.
I'm not smart, just mediocre.
I'm not talented, just breezing along in life.
The only thing i like about myself is my wisdom & open-mindedness.

My bf's biggest grouse is i don't spend enough time with him.
Looking at my timetable and my parents, i guess so.
He can go ahead and find some prettier, smarter gf who can accompany him everyday, as much as he wants.

Hence,
I'll just move on.
I can survive on my own.
************************************************************

Because of my long breaks today, i got to spend lots of time with Ruiying & Jessie.
We went to the Shopping Arcade 'cos they wanted to find lappy skins.
But the choice was so pathetic.

I had a nice time chatting with them.
FS0802 is so cute.
They already have 3 couples in the making.
Haha.

I notice they're efficient too.
They get their e-assignments done by the week.
Today i saw the lot of 0802 girls doing their differentiation quizzes.
Lolol.
And they even borrowed reference books to study.
One of them let me have the chem book cos they don't need it already.
Thanks! :D
Sibei good leh.
Now i can learn my phchem with the book.

Once Term 2 starts, i'm going to go to the library every Friday.
Gonna source for notes during 3hr break.
Feel free to join me.
LOL.

Feel like going back to library during holidays too.
Wonder if i can get any more useful ref books.

Sighs.
The end of my bitch post.

CHARMAINE CHEONG.

I’m a somebody and a nobody. I’m rational and emotional. I’m critical but I’m non-judgemental.

I like my things categorized by types and chronologically. I like taking photos to preserve the moments of my life. I like dystopian literature. I like reading Wikipedia articles at random. I like travelling to foreign lands and seeing the world. I like long conversations over good food. I like pop and classical music. I like guitars. I like cats. I like writing random, mushy letters and notes to the people important to me. I have a whole long list of things that I like, but you’ve got to get to know me better to know them all.